Logan and Zoe, having fun at the ESPN Expo, enjoying the photo ops, Jan. 2013.
Behind, behind, behind, that’s how I feel, chasing my tail, digging a hole, whatever you call it, that’s how I feel….but I quickly surrender to the thought that I am right where I’m supposed to be.
I had this list, kind of long actually, of things I wanted to talk about on the blog. I’ve been away from this one for awhile. Once the 1/2 at Disney with the JDRF team came upon us it felt like there was no stopping to take a few minutes to write, so thanks for sticking with us, lots of good stuff coming up in 2013.
I won’t bore you with the details of the race, but if you are interested you can check out the posts at my running blog, http://miles4moms.wordpress.com/2013/01/29/disney-and-so-the-magic-begins-or-was-it-mayhem/
I do have things I want to share, and I was sitting here putting my thoughts together when the health room aide called to talk about Logan’s lunch numbers. He was in the 300’s this morning, we thought he’d go down with a correction but he was still in the 300’s at lunch time. I probed, wondering if he was feeling o.k., the health room aide assured me that he was, though he was having a bit of a rough day. He had hit his head on a table and also had an ‘accident’. The high numbers, the low numbers, all of the numbers, well I can take all that, I know what to do with that, but when I hear that he had an ‘accident’ I instantly hate Type 1.
It might seem odd to you that I don’t “hate” Type 1 every day, I don’t like it, and probably do hate it every day, but most days I know what to do with it. Days like this though, it gets messy for me when it leads to awkward social moments for Logan, like this one.
I feel bad that he had to deal with it, just imagine. So I’m crossing my fingers that his classmates didn’t see it happen, I picture him rushing to the bathroom trying to prevent it from happening, and I’m hoping that he made it in time with little exposure to his peers. Not easy for a 9 year old boy to have an ‘accident’. This has not happened in such a long time, but when his numbers are high, it can happen, he can’t sense the urgency and its a real possibility for him that it can happen. I can’t say this is true for everyone that has diabetes, but it’s true for him, it always has been.
So the fundraising, the raising awareness, well it takes a back burner today because honestly, I hate diabetes today. I hate that it interferes with his social life at times like this. Then I think to myself, “Don’t lose sight, don’t give up hope, don’t get mad for too long, because there is a lot of work to do and being angry, well it has it’s place, it will drive me to stay on this path of finding a cure and raising awareness, but only if I use it for fuel and not a platform for a pity party.”
So, 13.1 miles, done. Second highest fundraiser, done. Being a part of a team that raised over $60,000 for T1D research, done. Being so proud of my kids, never done. Showing my children that there is always something we can do and that every dollar, every good intention and every kindness can encourage hope and be the foundation for change, continues to be done.
When I ran the 13.1 miles I liked that is was “13.1”, in my mind, the one standing for Type 1, and even though I had moments of getting caught up in my own race goals and not being able to meet them I had to walk away feeling that we had won on so many levels. So now I refer to it as 13.Won, because I believe someday we will win, and there will be a cure. In the meantime Logan, my niece Reagan and all of the other children burdened with Type 1 deserve our attention, our support and they deserve the best life that they can live.