Our humble attempt at a self portrait the day we brought Logan home after he was first diagnosed. Happy to have him home after three days and two long nights in the hospital.
What has always caught my eye about this photo, aside from Zoe’s puzzled look and the pure joy that we were feeling on that day, is how tightly I am holding on to Logan, never to let him go.
We were all squished together trying to get the shot, wanting to stay in that moment forever. Happy, safe and for a second forgetting how our life had just been turned inside out, upside down. How Logan’s life had changed…forever.
Thinking of that day and where we are now makes me catch my breath, but then I sit tight, remind myself to trust, and try not to hold on so tight. Letting go is good, but geez it can be hard sometimes.
Even as I write this I am sidetracked by thoughts of them growing too quickly, picturing their tiny little hands slowly slipping out of mine as they grow and explore. Excited and scared at the same time. They are going to be awesome people, I’m so excited to see what they do, where they go…but wait, don’t grow so fast.
I am already picturing them in college, and I’m that mom, screaming after them, “Wait, I still haven’t finished your scrapbook from kindergarten!!” How the heck does it happen so fast?
My heart aches a little bit. Expanding I’m sure. Bursting with a love that I can’t seem to get out fast enough before they set off into the world. I just don’t want to miss one minute of it. Not one.
I take a deep breath, chanting to myself trust, trust, trust. It’s all good. It really is.
This D-life that we have come to know has brought us to so many amazing crossroads, and so many wonderful people. Today was a reminder of all that as I connected with new D-Mom’s, gave thanks to supporters in our community and frantically, and without coffee I might add, tried to nail down my final registration info. for the ride. I couldn’t help but think of how far we’ve come.
If you didn’t know this already, I’m starting to get both excited and nervous about it all. The ride that is. I’m vacillating between What was I thinking? and What was I thinking?
I was in a total panic this morning when I found out that my bike needs to be shipped one week prior to my event and I felt like I was sending them one of my children, who knew I would get so attached to my bike! The whole letting go and holding on seems to be a recurring theme today.
So in the mean time to help me stay focused I decided to use this time to share some facts about T1D. All of the information I will be sharing with you is provided by the JDRF and can be found at http://www.jdrf.org. (I have paraphrased some of it to keep it simple, but it can be found in it’s entirety on their website).
T1D- the basics:
Type 1 diabetes (T1D) is an autoimmune disease in which a person’s pancreas STOPS producing insulin. Insulin is a hormone that enables people to get energy from food.
The body’s immune system ATTACKS and DESTROYS the insulin-producing cells in the pancreas, called BETA-CELLS.
The causes of T1D are not entirely understood, though scientists believe that both genetic factors and environmental triggers are involved.
THE ONSET OF T1D HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH DIET OR LIFESTYLE, THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO PREVENT T1D AND AT THE MOMENT, NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO GET RID OF IT.
That’s all for today, please stay tuned for more fast facts about T1D as I do my best to stay grounded and count down the days until I ride.
Thanks for stopping by, for sharing and for cheering us on! I can hear the cowbell already!
(And your homework for today is not to remember all the T1D facts but to grab the person or pet next to you, squish together, hold on tight, take a self portrait and treasure it…always).