Too many thoughts, too many words, too much emotion.
I wrote about being vulnerable, drama, fear, pity, judgement, and frustration.
I wrote about good friends, family, safe spaces, sage women, trusting your gut, taking that risk and helping others.
I had a point.
I had a message.
I had a goal but in the end I realized that it was just ‘stuff’.
All I really wanted to say is that my heart aches for this family. That this could happen to anyone, we could have been these parents, that child could have been Logan.
This child is ‘our’ child, the T1D community has a family that is grieving, we grieve with them and for them. Tonight like so many other parents will be doing with their own children, I will check on Logan more than normal. I will curse T1D.
Do I think about this happening? Yes, but not as often as I used to.
Not that long ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with a sick feeling in my stomach that something was wrong. I immediately went and checked on Zoe and Logan.
For the first time since his diagnosis I checked to see if he was breathing.
I checked to see if he was breathing.
My first thought was to check his breathing, not his blood sugar.
It scared me.
That night I scooted him over and slept next to him. Not because I was nervous, but because I was grateful.
Insulin is not a cure.
I usually don’t share articles about deaths due to T1D complications. I’m not sure why. I am completely and utterly aware of this reality. Maybe it’s because I want to be that person that believes and trusts that there is a way, that there is a cure coming…before it happens again.
This is why we fund raise, why we advocate and why we keep going and why we are so grateful for all that you do to help us find a cure.
Believe me, there will be times when we yell ‘TAG! Your it!’ because we will be tired, we will need your help and we will be so happy that you are there on the front lines with us.
So hug your kids tight, unplug, share your gifts with this world, be nice to each other, hold your judgments, forgive, be gentle with yourself, and fight the fight, whatever it may be.
You matter. You make a difference. Use your power for good. Life is too precious to hold back.
And remember…this happens.
Bless this family, their friends, and their children, may they feel loved and supported during this time.